Here I go again writing one of these at the last possible minute because I still feel some bizarre obligation to perpetuate this exercise. It's becoming much less clear who exactly this is in service of. Probably going to keep this short.
I've had a lot going on this month, so much that I haven't had time to think. Between taking part in a wedding as a groomsman to driving multiple states away to attend a concert, among many other less time suckish but still mentally taxing events, moments to spend on soul searching have become scarce. It's not like I haven't enjoyed some of these diversions from the more routine sections of life I've grown accustomed to, but starting up those routines again can be a serious challenge even after only a couple of days away.
I've tried to do some writing for my blog over the past few weeks, but I can't stop myself from hating the words that crawl out of my fingertips. At this point, I'm considering scrapping some 2500+ words and starting over with a different concept, which sucks. If I'm not having fun with my attempts at creativity and they aren't visibly leading to anything, I have to wonder what is making me want to continue. People have told me I am good at writing which makes me feel like it's something I should be doing, but it never seems to get any easier. Even when I publish some writing I'm proud of, I'm setting a standard for myself that I feel like I have to live up to in the future, strapping my body on to this torturous wheel of neverending pressure and forced attempts at growth. I guess all I can do is choose to keep at it or get fed up and find something else to do, regardless of what people will think.
Elsewhere, my Steam Curator page has been garnering quite a bit of notoriety, a development I can't deny at least some personal excitement about. Being contacted by a gaming journalist for an interview about this side project that I never expected would gain much outside interest was pretty surreal. I am well under 180lbs at the moment and am on track to reach a healthy weight before my next doctor's appointment this fall, my current goal. An employee at my job is retiring which will open up more opportunities for me, either a good or bad thing depending on one's perspective. My recent battle with forehead acne has been decidedly negative, I seem to be losing pretty badly. A dermatologist appointment may be in order if things don't turn around.
I don't know, it's just another one of those times when everything and nothing are happening all at once. A busy month for me would be a breeze for most other people. Sometimes, I feel like an alien in human skin. What else is new.