Once again, I find myself scrambling to do a bit of personal writing on the last day of the month so I can maintain this arbitrary goal I’ve set for myself. In my defense, the latter part of July has turned out to be fairly busy for a variety of reasons. I’m not sure where to begin with describing what’s been going on lately, I guess it would make sense to start with the big events and work my way down.
I managed to snag a second job not too far from where I live. Barring any last minute setbacks, I’ll be starting up there in a few days. It’s just a part-time gig, but it’ll have some sweet benefits that come along with it, including downtime where I can potentially get some work done on the laptop, do some reading or maybe even some light gaming. I think it will be a positive development for me, but it's too early to tell at this moment in time.
I finished some more lengthy writing for my upcoming blog project a week or two ago. I’ve had this idea in my head for several months now, so I’m glad to have gotten it down on virtual parchment at last. The next challenge is to figure out where I’m going to host it online. I’ve got a domain name picked out and a general idea of how the site will look, I just need to put in some work to get it finished when I have the time and energy. I can’t overstate how much I’m looking forward to this step being complete, a weight will be off my shoulders and I’ll have a place to start publishing more serious writing without having to think too much.
This past weekend, my partner, the dog and I went down to a family float trip near my aunt’s cabin a couple hours away from home. I got to see some more family members that I hadn’t been around in upwards of fifteen, twenty years. It seems like these kinds of moments will inevitably end up being awkward, but this time I think I did a good job shaking that off pretty quickly and just having a pleasant time. It’s always nice to have an excuse to go reconnect with nature for a couple of days.
I’ve felt pretty wiped out since we got home from the trip, but life continues on. I’ve been wrestling with technology over the past few days, for the most part. I managed to get MX Linux up and running on a new SSD for my old HP laptop, a key step toward speeding up any future productivity. The next day, the silver RG35XXSP that I ordered a couple weeks ago finally decided to show up, so a frantic day and a half of tinkering naturally ensued. I’ve still got a long checklist of tasks to work through in the coming days, but I’m admittedly starting to feel more clear headed about getting it all done.
We’re also dog sitting at home while my partner’s brother and niece are out of town for a bit. I can't help but feel like having two pets around is a bit much to handle, so adding another to the mix even temporarily may end up being overwhelming. It hasn’t been bad so far. Ask me again in a couple days, though.
Well, now that I’ve laid most of it out there, it doesn’t seem like it paints the picture of a particularly busy person’s life. I don’t know why I feel like I’m not getting enough done despite having written several paragraphs about what I’ve been doing over the past couple of weeks. I know there’s some more hours in there that I could have spent being productive, but why does my mind go to this place?
It’s been difficult not to compare myself to other people in my orbit for as long as I can remember—friends, family members, online acquaintances, and the like. If I’m not as physically active as one person while being as adept at working with technology as another, I can’t be satisfied. Why am I like this? Who am I trying to impress?
I guess it’s good to have some kind of internal motivation to keep up the self-improvement grind, but it can also turn into a source of self-loathing if left unchecked. I think I’m capable of more than what I’ve accomplished up to this point, so it’s important to frame that properly within a positive mindset and just keep doing the small things that have gotten me here to begin with.
It’s safe to say that I would rather be at this point mentally than being stuck tearing myself down and over-examining my past shortcomings for the umpteenth time. I feel good, and I believe this last handful of months in 2024 will be a period of continued personal growth. I look forward to reaching another horizon, soon.