I almost forgot the month was about to be over, so here's that periodic update I'm committed to writing for some unknowable reason. The shortest month of the year was a bit of a slog. There's been worse times to be sure, but overall, February 2025 hasn't left me with much of anything to look back on fondly.
Work has been considerably more busy than the past handful of months, and it's starting to catch up with me. My co-worker at the main job will still be sidelined through March, so the end of my extended double-duty doesn't appear to be in sight anytime soon. This has all left with much less time to think, be creative, or engage in some hobby that requires a modicum of focus. A lot's been going on, I just struggle to describe it in an interesting way.
Being sick for a week and a half in the second part of the month didn't exactly help matters. A brutal head cold with congestion, sinus pressure and a dry, sore throat made it difficult to enjoy any time off I was afforded. I managed to switch a couple of work days at the second job to accommodate my needs during this period, combined with a comfortable pocket of quietness with the main job that helped me scrounge up enough time to recover from the worst of it. Still, it's hard to completely kick one of these seasonal colds when the weather outside is too cold to bear for very long, even at full strength.
Sleep problems continue to bug the crap out of me. I got so used to taking Nyquil while I was sick that getting to sleep without it can be an exercise in frustration. I have a bad habit of anticipating large workloads on the day before they happen, and that dread can spiral out of control into negative thoughts fairly quickly. Because I have such little time throughout a typical early weekday to reflect and meditate, my mind is going to eventually start racing when I least need it to. When that work is done and I finally get some free time, I end up staying up late to maximize it. My lack of discipline in this regard means I can never truly develop a consistent, healthy sleep schedule. Part of me wonders which is to blame: my poor choices or certain environmental factors. Maybe, both?
While I was sick, I lapsed with my diet and exercise routines for just long enough that I'm now having to pull myself back up to what feels like a bare minimum level of functionality. I've lost progress on my strength training and my cardio work leaves much to be desired. I am stuck at the same weight range I've been at for several months at this point, most frustrating of all. I see my fitness regimen as a long-term investment, as in, what will my body be like when I'm 40? The short term returns are not knocking anybody's socks off, and I have to learn to be okay with that. I will probably always have to endure certain physical limitations, imperfections, hindrances. The important thing is that I get up off the mat and just keep trying.
Along the lines of something more fun, I finally set up my PS2 with a Free Mcboot card and an internal hard drive. This means I can play game backups directly from mass storage—including fan translations and games from other regions—while preserving the laser on my console's disc drive and not having to fiddle with a bunch of old, mostly scratched up discs. One of my goals for the year was to work on reviving and upgrading some of my old technology, and this certainly counts! I haven't had much time to actually play the games on there, but let's just say I will be set for a while as far as PS2 games go.
It's good that I was able to get this goal worked on, because the others have sat entirely neglected. I often underestimate how easy it can be to remain stagnant or even backslide when things aren't going my way. I worked hard to set up my blog last year, wrote a few posts, and now it's sat dormant for months. I expected myself to get at least one of those posts done per month while also making time for research and even more creative work, but life has had other things in store for me so far.
I have to get real about how I portion out my time if I want to get anywhere with this whole self-improvement thing. I've long complained about how often I get sucked into distractions, how they whittle away time under my nose. I will always have to work, I will always have to make time for exercise, meal prep, chores, tedious adult obligations. What I do with the remainder of time is going to define me as a person.
Friday, February 28th finally marks a date where I'm entirely free, I'm well-rested and the temperature outside is comfortably warm. It's time to do what I talked about at the end of the last post on here, I'm going to venture out into nature and do some soul-searching. I don't want to make a big production out of it. I just hope it leads to some forward momentum, wherever it takes me.